Pervasive Parenting
By Kodey Toney
Maybe I’m Amazed
I had a long discussion with Konner this weekend.
While I have many long discussions with him they usually are about Thomas
trains, track dimension, Minecraft issues, zombies, or something else that
interests him, but I have no idea what they really are all about. I wish I
could tell you that this conversation was different, but it really just ended
up with the same subjects.
However, I was reading an article on Facebook about
people on the spectrum and how their brains work differently than neurotypical
people. Since Konner was sitting next to me I decided to ask him what he
thought about the situation.
I said, “Have you ever heard of Autism?” I knew he
had because we have discussed it before.
He replied, “Yes daddy.”
I said, “Do we know anyone who has autism?”
I said, “Do we know anyone who has autism?”
He said, “I don’t know.”
So I explain to him, though I’ve explained several
times, that he does and that it causes his brain to work differently than
others.
I then asked, “Does it take you a little while to
think about questions when I ask them?”
He said yes and so I tried to explain why. I went on to ask him other autism related
questions just to see what he thought.
I asked, “Do you play with people at school or stay
to yourself?” He said he stays to himself, but sometimes plays with others.
I then asked, “Do you want other kids to play with
you or do you want to be left alone?”
He said, “I want other kids to play with me most of
the time, but sometimes I just want to be left alone.”
I figure this stands to reason. I just want to be
left alone sometimes too, and if he is overstimulated he probably doesn’t want
anyone to bother him.
It was at this point that the conversation fell off
on his end. I would ask him if the other kids made fun of him or if they were
nice to him.
He said, “They are nice to me…did you know that
Thomas and Percy are medium gauge engines…”
So I tried to steer the conversation back on track
and said, “Do the kids make fun of you or are they nice to you?”
He said, “They don’t make fun of me…did you know
that on Misty Island Rescue…”
He, like many children on the spectrum only want to
talk about things that they are interested in, and when they are interested in
them. He will go days without saying anything to anyone unless he is asked a
question, and then spend an hour talking about a certain train or part of a
movie that he watched. He will keep talking even if you have a conversation
with someone else.
He tends to repeat the same conversations over and
over again. This is part of the echolalia.
Part of the thought process issue is the fact that,
according to an article on the Autism Discussion Page on Facebook, and other
articles I’ve read in the past, “The brain wiring for people on
the spectrum (ASD) makes it difficult to look past the detail for the overall
picture. It is more focused on reading the concrete details (facts). What your
see and hear, is what you get. They stay more true to the details, and analyze
the facts to piece together the overall picture. Hence their thought processes
can be less biased (although not entirely unbiased), and more true to the
facts.”
His mind amazes me in the things it can do when he
wants to, but when he doesn’t you might as well forget getting anything out of
him.
