Independence Day

Pervasive Parenting

By Kodey Toney

Independence Day

Everyday Konner makes me proud in one way or another (Kruz does too for that matter). July 4th was no different. Well, maybe it was a little different.

I wrote last week about ways to help a child on the spectrum or with sensory issues get through a fireworks display. The funny thing was that we didn't have to use any of those things.

We had told Konner throughout the day we were going to a fireworks display, and about an hour before we left he came to us and said, "Mommy, you know how the fireworks are always so loud? Can I go stay at grandma's instead?"

Wow! What a breakthrough. This was a true Independence Day of sorts for him.

Now some reading this may think I'm crazy, but what it means for those of us with children on the spectrum is that Konner understood the problem, assessed the issue, knew it was going to be loud, and came up with a solution.

This is actually the second time in about a month that he has done this. When we went to the drive-in movie a couple weeks ago he told us he would like to stay with grandma then because it would be loud.

Some would ask, "Aren't you worried that he's not socializing and being with the family?" To a certain extent I am worried, but I know that it is better for him to be comfortable than to torture him with sensory issues.

We make him do plenty of things to test his senses and build a tolerance that these few things that he is asking us to avoid won't matter that much.

As I sat through the display and listened to the explosions that seemed like cannons at time I knew that it was a good decision. It was almost too loud for me, and I'm used to screaming guitars and loud amplifiers in my ears.

 When we went to pick him up there were neighbors shooting small fireworks next door. Those small booms were nothing compared to what we had witnessed before, and yet, the whole way to the truck he had his ears covered in agony.

I knew we made the right choice.