Sunday, April 29, 2012

Change the World

I’ve been watching a lot of videos and reading many blogs lately to try and help understand what Konner might be going through. As a society, almost an underground society it seems (I’m speaking of the autism world in general) we think we know what is best for our children. We work really hard to make them the best that they can be. This is why we spend so much time with therapies, trinkets and toys, apps, and conferences to give our children what they need to survive in a fast-paced world. This is a world that is usually unforgiving to people who are not made out of the same cookie-cutter format that we see on television, magazines, and sadly enough occasionally our own minds.

Sometimes, however, I wonder if we’re trying too hard to make them “normal” or if we really just want them to have the best things they can with the hands they’ve been dealt. Those hands aren’t always bad. Since we’re using poker analogies; it would be like having an ace in hand, but losing to a pair of twos. You may be good at sports, but later in life when that stuff doesn’t matter, the man with a better retention of facts is going to be more useful in the “real world”. I’m not sure if I made that more clear, or just confused everyone more.

The thing that I’ve noticed most in these interviews with children and teens on the spectrum is that they don’t want to be changed. I was watching a video at that I highly recommend. The film was by a teen with Asperger’s Syndrome. The main thing I noticed was that the children said they wouldn’t trade their differences for the world. They don’t want to be changed, just accepted.

Konner is one of the greatest things to ever happen to me. I wouldn’t change him for the world. He has made me a better person, and because of his autism I am becoming better every day. I’ve shared some of this with you in the past, but he makes me more patient (not that I’m where I should be yet). I have to be patient. There’s no compromise sometimes. That pushes me into frustration more times in a week than I can count, but at the end of the day, I still have to be patient and try to figure out what the problem is.

He has made me be more forgiving of others. I understand tribulations that other parents may be going through. Now when I see a child in a grocery store or restaurant scream I just smile. I truly do, because I have no idea what is wrong with that child, but I know that even if they really are just brats it is something that you have to deal with and go on.  I don’t judge because I don’t know.

I was thinking the other night about heaven. This may be something that some of you will think it odd, wrong, or just weird, but I was wondering what people with disabilities are like in heaven. Are they “normal” in the way that we see things here on earth? Will a child with Downs Syndrome still have Downs in heaven? If not will we recognize them? Then I wondered what Konner would be like. Will he still have the issues that he has on earth? As I pondered this I began to think…I hope not. I hope he’s just the same. I don’t want him to have the pain that goes along with the neurological side of autism. However, I love all the little quirks that make him Konner. For that matter, I hope he never changes.

I’m sure that I’m going to ruffle a few feathers with this one, but I’m hoping that I will open some eyes. These children, and adults, are who they are. They wouldn’t change if they could. Why should we. This is what defines them as people. They don’t need to change. They just need understanding, help, and guidance. We as a society are who need to change our ways of thinking.

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